When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.
this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”.
My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.
When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.
why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”
I don’t know if my friends understand that they could literally invite me over to sit on their floor and watch a stupid movie. Like I’m really not hard to please, you don’t even have to feed me. Very low maintenance friend right here…I just want to do something that is not at my house okay.
He’s not expressing confusion, he’s tilting his head for better sound localization. While having an ear on each side of the head is good for lateral echolocation, tilting the head so that the ears are offset gives it vertical depth.